Cupid’s loop of torments.

Hey there, my name is Cerys, ironically it means “love”. I never felt like I belonged where I was, I always felt like I was born for the sole purpose of being tortured. And may the gods forgive me, but no paradise will ever amount for the suffering.

In the beginning, I was thinking too much and not feeling enough, at some point I was feeling too much and not thinking enough, now I am doing both, and I hate it. I overthought myself into sadness, and now I can not get out of it. One day, I started feeling like I was cursed. Because what else could it be? That is where I started searching, for an answer, a solution, some advice, a key, a way out… anything! I searched day and night, the books, the websites the videos I’ve been through everything. The pastors, shamans, and mediums I went to them all. I finally found the root of my problem, the reason why I was hurting. It’s funny. It’s funny how I was simply deemed unworthy. Unworthy of what I embody. Unworthy of sharing the only thing my heart is filled with. I was denied what I’m called every day, I was denied Cerys, I was denied, love. Very disrespectful don’t you agree? I started digging around, learning about everything that could help me find happiness, or at least explain my plight. I found the latter. I found it in the city that care forgot, New Orleans! I was told that a renowned bruja who lived there might be able to help. Unfortunately, she was. At first, she was reluctant to help me. I must admit that I expected it, she turned pale when I walked into her shop. I felt like as soon as she set her eyes on me, she knew the extent of my torments and wanted nothing to do with it. I begged her, I begged her to help me free myself from my pain, I begged her to help me see through my pain. She finally agreed to help me but warned me that it was going to be a long process. According to her we were dealing with higher powers and had to get ready the right way. After cleansing the room from any bad spirits and inviting the good ones, we meditated, to open our spirits, our third eyes and ears, to be able to see EVERYTHING. And I saw. It felt like a dream, but it also felt so real. That is when I realized it was a memory.

Right then and there I remembered, the dagger, planted, straight into my heart, I remembered how I was unjustly cast to earth simply by jealousy.

At another time, in another life, I was called Faven. In a life and time, where the laws of space and time are different, where every advanced theory in science is common knowledge, I was cast out for the same reason I suffered my whole life. Love. In those days, I was in love, in love with Lux. Lux was my boyfriend, he and I loved each other much more than you could ever imagine, much more than I could ever explain. But the most important part of it all is that we were happy, we were at the acme of our love. But the problem when you reach the highest point in anything is that you might hurt yourself if you fall. The fall came soon enough, Lisha came. We met Lisha at a party, we immediately became friends with her. Lux and I were happy, and our friendship with Lisha was doing great. She kept telling me how she was so happy for us and could not wait to find the same thing. On my birthday, Lisha scheduled a trip for all of us. We went to what is called Greece on the earth that you know. As I told you, science was beyond advanced in my other life, what you consider as magic here (teleportation, time travel, levitation, etc.) is basic science there. So! Anyways, Lisha brought both Lux and I to on that trip, and I wish we knew what her intentions were, I would have stopped her, I would have stayed with Lux. We arrived at the destination; we were staying in a huge house near a forest. The first days were wonderful, Lisha, Lux, and I were enjoying every single minute of that trip. We drank, danced, partied, went to movies and museums. After a week of drinking and partying, Lisha wanted to go for a hike in the forest, Lux was not feeling good, so he told us to go ahead without him while he stayed and cooked dinner. I was kind of curious about that forest, so I decided to go explore it with my wonderful lovable great, and loving friend Lisha… I was so clueless about her real intentions. I followed Lisha in the forest, surprisingly she seemed like she knew where she was going, I just followed her followed her without really paying attention, I was busy looking at the forest around me, the beauty of it all was flabbergasting. Soon enough we reached a small clearing with a well in the middle. Lisha suggested, that we sit down and relax in that spot, it was beautiful, the sunlight’s warmth was pleasantly caressing my skin, and the vivid flowers were hypnotizing, so I agreed. We sat down and Lisha pulled out some sort of picnic, I was surprised she did not mention it to Lux, he would have never said no to food. We started drinking and eating, but I started feeling bad at a point. Confused and wondering if I was tired from the hike, I tried to reach to Lisha for help, I turned around and she was no where to be seen. Behind me, I heard chanting, someone was casting a spell, I turned around, and there was Lisha. Her face was locked in a dark grin, I could feel the hatred she had towards me. I tried standing up, I tried asking her for help. But she kept chanting. I had never heard that chant before, but I felt like I could recognize it. Dark Enochian!!?? She was doing dark magic, Lisha was casting one of the fallen angels Spells and I knew which one. I knew exactly which one. She was casting Cupid’s loop of torment, a forbidden spell. The sole purpose of this spell is to make whoever it is cast on miserable. How? By doing exactly what it did to me. It fills you with love, overflowing love. How is that bad? The bad part is the fact that the spell also keeps anyone from loving you. According to the ancient writings of my tribe, this spell fills your heart with love, until you can not take it anymore, and then the excess of love starts turning into misery, depression, and everything sad and bitter; in other words poison for your life. Cupid’s loop of torment is the ultimate spell to make sure someone is miserable beyond imaginable; I would not cast it on my worst enemy. Lisha was still chanting, my body was still heavy and numb, I could not move. Lisha ended the chanting and proceeded to the next part of the ritual. She had to melt gold into a dagger, cover it with her blood and stab me with it. I already knew what was coming, there was no point in fighting, I closed my eyes while tears rolled down, and thought about Lux, my love, my darling Lux, why was Lisha trying to make our love impossible? I lied there powerless, lied there… Lisha started talking. “Oh Faven, are you okay? Not so much eh? Do you know how hard it was for me to watch Lux and you almost swallow each other every day, kissing anywhere and anytime? Just shoving your love in my face, and as one does, I started wanting that. And I told you, don’t you remember? I told you I wanted what you and Lux had, and I meant it! I want the EXACT same thing. You look horrified *chuckles*, well you should, you have no idea of what I’m going to do to you.” She proceeded to continue her spell while I was still laying, powerless, I was not even sure what to think. How did I not notice anything? Lisha, my now enemy unmolded the golden dagger, she cut a straight line in her hand and covered it with blood while murmuring something. She walked towards me; all I could do was cry. A step, a tear. Walking, crying. Walking, and then sticking de dagger in my heart. I was racked with pain at that instant. I was confused as to, why she decided to stab me in the heart? Why cast a spell to make me miserable and then kill me right away, it made no sense! That is when I realized, how was still hurting, and thinking if I was dead. I opened my eyes, and I was standing. In the clearing. With Lisha…Facing me. She was starring at me like she was seeing me for the first time, I was about to lash out at her when something caught my eyes. My body, there on the ground… was I dead? She started laughing hysterically and talking about how she was not expecting this part of the spell to work. I tried hitting her, but I could not touch her, she kept laughing, mocking me this time, me, and my pitiful attempts. “enjoy your trip” she said. Trip? I was confused. She started whispering another spell, the spell was very peculiar it sounded like a mix of several spells. Before I knew it everything turned black. My next memory was me as a kid, me, Cerys, with my parents, on your earth. Somehow Lisha had found a way to break my unbreakable love with Lux and made sure I would never be loved again.

I opened my eyes, where was I? Oh, I remembered, I was at the bruja’s, her eyes were still closed, she was probably still seeing something. I tried to go back into a trance or whatever that was but could not. Approximately 15 minutes after she opened her eyes. She knew something that I did not. What was there to know… I did not care, my friend betrayed me and sent me away from the only person I was living for. No wonder why I always felt something was missing. The bruja did not want to tell me what she saw, she said there was nothing I could do about it anyway, and knowing would only hurt me more, and she was right. I then decided to just accept my fate, but I promised myself I would not give up! I had to find a way to return to my love or at least find happiness in this world. I left the bruja, she kindly gave me a bunch of herbs and ointments. They could not break the curse, but they could help by relieving me from the pain inside. Unfortunately, that is the only thing she could do. I knew I had a long journey ahead of me, but I promised myself to never give up. Until this day I have not given up. I think about Lux; how is he doing? Does he still love me? was Lisha able to seduce him? How did she explain my disappearance? Once again, I felt powerless, but that was no reason to give up.

[Lux’ point of view]

It was starting to be late; I was wondering when the girls would be back. And dinner was almost ready. I thought to myself “I hope they’ll be here soon because I’m hungry”. My prayer was answered right away, Faven, walked in. I was expecting Lisha to follow, but she never did. According to Lisha, she had to leave immediately for an emergency. That was odd, what kind of emergency would she have during holidays? in another country? Did she have family or something like that here? I brushed it away and went to Faven for a hug. There was something weird about Faven, her behaviour, her smell, it kind of smelled like Lisha, but I guess that was normal, we were always together. We probably all smell a little bit like each other. Dinner was ready, I started setting the table and opening the wine, since Lisha was not there, I thought we could take advantage of the alone time. Faven came back from a shower, wearing a beautiful dress, she was stunning. But a detail caught my attention, she was wearing Lisha’s amulet, usually, Lisha always wears her amulet, it was a gift from her late mother. I asked Faven about it, she said it was just the same design not the actual necklace, a gift from Lisha. Apparently, she liked it so much that Lisha bought her one. Anyways, Faven was stunning, and we were about to have I wonderful time. I’ve been wanting to propose for a while, I already have the ring I was simply waiting for the right moment, I love her so much.

[later that night]

“Faven will you marry me??”

The End.